Burn
I coasted down the only path there was
And when I asked for your advice you said, “just trust.”
Its taken all this time to feel relief
But I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.
If i’m content for once I know it wont last long
And this voice inside my head says i’ll be undone
This worlds so cold it’ll make your soul go numb
It’ll choke you with the smoke thats in your lungs
Burn the weeds and cast the stones.
Plant the seed and let it grow.
Soon we’ll eat what we have sown.
Soon my head will have its crown.
The last few years my brain has felt this lack of innocence.
Its like the goodness the shepherd once showed to me no longer exists.
The deck is stacked against me, I feel trapped on all sides.
You know the plans you have for me but who am I.
Don’t take away from me the blessed tie that binds.
Don’t take away from me the hands that hold my life.
Don’t take away from me this peace I cant describe.
Don’t take away from me. Don’t take away.
Burn it all down, cast it into the sea.
I want to breath again. I want to live in the deep.
Burn it all down, cast it into the sea.
I want to breath again. I want to live in the deep.
I want to know what you’ve got planned for me.
I gotta breath perfectly.
I gotta know that I’m on the right track.
I gotta know that you’ve still got my back.
Lions Den
I am scared to say whats on my mind.
To leave my fears and faults entwined
at your feet. I bury my
face so that I may be blind
Wheres the lighthouse on the lake?
Lead me there or lead astray.
I knew I’d end up this way.
Cold and trying to tread for another day.
Blame me for what I have done
and for what I have not
Undeserving to be called your son
Undeserving of the thought
I know I know I know
I can feel it in my throat
I know I know I know
I heard every single word that you wrote
I know I’m not wasting my time.
Can you convince me that I’m right?
Comfort my soul in my time of need,
Cut this rope that is hanging me.
I cannot believe
You find anything worth saving
Show me what you see
Before I make my last retreat.
Im better now than I was then
From sleeping in the lions den.
Just hold me closer to the end
So I can be near you once again.
Stranger Here
All that I seem to give is a broken spirit.
I spoke your words but never seem to listen to them.
I think of all the pain, of all the pain you suffered.
For your fair weather friends and unrequited lovers.
Despite this life and all its comforts,
I’m still lacking peace and order
Forgive my heart.
If you can, forget that I am such a hollow man.
I know it’s all part of a plan.
Cause when I dream, I dream of golden sand.
I lived in a house that I held higher than a temple.
I figured out, to feel that way again would never be that simple.
Cause now my house is a parking lot, buried on top everything I was taught.
Such as love your neighbor and honor your savior.
I am but a stranger here, but a stranger.
Life was better on that river.
All I wanted was peace and order.
Forgive my heart.
If you can, forget that I am such a hollow man.
I know it’s all part of a plan.
Cause when I dream, I dream of golden sand.
There is One
I can’t take this,
I am frozen in the thought of you
The lake reflects the sun’s salvation,
It pulls me out of you
I would run away if I thought I could escape.
Forget the taste and run the race but I wont abandon you to the grave.
You are the white flag that I wave
Over every heartache that I face
Strong in all of the ways that don’t matter
Weak in all of the ways that could’ve made me better
I would run away if I thought I could escape.
Forget the taste and run the race but I wont abandon you to the grave.
I stand on my words
Both the blessings and the curses I call on myself
I know confession is the first step to getting help
I wont abandon you to the grave
I stand on my words
Both the blessings and the curses I call on myself
I know confession is the first step to getting help
Secret Places of My Memory
I asked my father to take his time as we crossed the pacific on Northwest Airlines.
He understandably obliged because he knew we would never return.
Theres a way, theres a way out of this.
Run away, runaway, from the memories of your former house and where it sits.
Clear the days, clear the days from your head.
Stay away, stay away from them. Leave it where it is, leave it where it is.
I asked myself if I could try to leave my childhood behind.
Convinced myself that I was fine. I keep telling myself the same old lies.
Like I didn’t want to stay.
I wanted the pain to go away.
But I didn’t want to change.
I wanted someone else to blame.
And in my fathers eyes I found that tribulation.
It’s easy cutting ties but I cant forget those faces.
Blue Van
Why do you cry? My dearest friend,
Your brother died but you’ll see him again.
He’ll pick you up in his blue van
A familiar face in unfamiliar lands
Never to suffer in that place again.
I welcome airports and holding hands.
We’ll meet again on golden sand.
No longer drowning in the sins of man.
And I know it’s not always comforting.
To hear that salvation is nigh.
Sometimes you have to scream how long, how long, lord.
Sometimes you’ve got to cry God, why.
And now you have the money to go to every funeral
Of every friend and family member you couldn’t see for 20 years or so.
Forget About Me
You’ll graduate in the spring.
I’ve never been so proud of you for anything.
I wish I could see you walk the stage.
I wanted to take you to France.
Get lost for awhile on a European train pass.
I don’t mind going alone I just always imagined you’d be there.
You were the type of woman with no filter to muzzle your thoughts.
I was the type of child held captive by the fear of loss.
But it happened. Anyway, at least i’m free.
I’m sure you’re doing fine. You’ll have no trouble, forgetting me.
Forget about me.
Lying in Wait
I wish that I had not fallen into another trap.
Whats done is done, whats said is said.
I wish that I could take those words back.
I said that i’d live holy but I made that promise poorly.
Wash my feet and pardon me.
I’m done, I’m done.
I’m waiting on the setting of the sun so I can fall away again.
I’m done, I’m done.
I’m waiting on the setting of the sun.
And now I wait for the king to take his throne.
Not a sheep, not a goat, more like a piano unable to play the right note
No matter how many times you say your past is already washed away
The guilt remains and doubt, it creates.
Make me believe you’ve made me free.
Im done, I’m done.
Im waiting on the setting of the sun so I can fall away again.
Im done, I’m done.
Im waiting on the setting of the sun.
I tried, I tried.
I know thats not enough but I am colorblind
I only see
The shadows that have taken over me.
Self-deceiving Savior
Paradise seems closer than it is.
I’ve devised unhealthy ways to live.
It feels like I’m talking to myself because I am the only one I could ever tell.
Before you know it I wont care.
Before you know it I wont be there.
Eyes are wide and feeling dry.
O my soul be free from why
I let myself fall from these heights.
Mostly I think I just want to fly.
Before you know it I wont care.
Before you know it I wont be there.
I used to fee like I was part of a family
I wonder if ill feel that way again
I wonder if thats what you think about me
Or am I just another long lost friend
I wonder if i’d be this way
If I didn’t feel so lonely
I don’t think I could be that gray
And drag someone down with me
Oh my God, what have I become. Thinking I could love this way, feeling so numb.
I Do Not Belong Here
I confess my sins.
I know you died that I may live.
I don’t pray like I once did,
But I know you’re still listening.
I say this with all my life
Make me your sacrifice.
Save her life like you did mine
That we may walk in the next life.
Watch over my family too
Welcome my sister’s son who’s now with you
We don’t speak like we used to
So bring us together soon
And if there is time, make my burden light.
Oh Lord, quickly come. Bring your children home.
Home,
I was a stranger once until you called me by name.
You called me by name.
And I know these words are not enough to atone for a life thats so corrupt.
Do you ever feel like defeat is around every corner?
I wonder, if I get to heaven, will I still feel like i’m a foreigner?
A shepherd knows his sheep. And his sheep answer his call.
So as I slowly drift to my eternal sleep I look forward to my final home.
Not a stranger but like a child at home.