Mach 7
Lift up your voices, let them be not distorted
You plot our courses, let us be now escorted
Into the moonlight, to a new constellation
Where we become bright, like a new creation
I want to leave behind my fading compassion
My impure mind and my overreactions
My sinful design, selfish satisfaction
My youthful crimes and unending inaction
In the middle of the night
I can see those ships come in
I keep dreaming of a season of endless autumn
But I can feel it drying up in the heat of the summer
Thinking about all the reasons that I won’t be safe
Do you feel it drying up in the heat of the summer?
Take whatever you can save
Leave the rest in the grave
And as for the ones who dwell in the caves
Make me brave
Chasing Me
You never think you’ll survive past that point in your life
Feels like the end of the world for so many nights
But now I’m back in pace, another lion to chase
The night always fades and in the morning I embrace the race
I wish I knew all of this when I was young
Instead of acting pissed off and getting drunk
There’s so much that you miss when you’re too hung up on everyone
You said you’d stop doing this when you got older
But now it seems like you’re just getting bolder (bored)
I cannot explain why I keep my eyes on what I can’t change
But I keep shooting blanks at my stubborn ways
Oh how did Job go on?
When all he had was gone?
And will I ever be strong enough
To bend a bow of bronze?
I didn’t think I’d survive past this point in my life
And I swear the lion’s chasing me this time
And I don’t want to run anymore
You can just eat me whole
I don’t really care anymore
I am yours
Safe Travels
I barely remember the last time we spoke
It was you and your husband and me in your car
Laughing and filling that car up with smoke
What a lovely family you were
44 months since I last saw you then
You barely said anything that whole weekend
But I saw the bruises on your wrist
And nothing can hide underneath your eyelids
I swear, it’s fine, it’s water and wine
I need both to survive
I keep trying to build heaven on earth
But I’m figuring out that will never work
I need water and wine
I need both to survive
My head’s a parking lot
Parked full of useless cars
Stripped down to the wire
Retain my useful parts
You expect me to live like that?
I will run til my knees collapse
Eyes forward, shoes tied, never looking back
Quick Tempered
I tried going a whole day without taking your name in vain
‘Cause someone told me it means so much more than some quick tempered phrase
Do I even want to know my worst offense?
Only discoverable looking through your lens
A quick tempered man does a foolish thing
But what do you say about the man that sings about his past like he won’t go back?
It feels like a lawyer’s dodge to make my case against the judge
And get away with everything I’ve done and end up above
Will you give me the strength to fight myself every step of the way?
Will you show to me the length of my evil days?
I used to wanna ride on eagle wings
I used to wanna feel that peaceful breeze
It all feels like you’re holding me underneath
Dear dad, sorry for making the family look so bad
My wicked ways are set
They gained control of the innocence I had left
Just write me off as your black sheep
I get too much in my own head
But I am longing for the solace I never had
Ghost tape #10
Just waiting now, she’s on the ropes
Hooked on whatever drug will help her cope
We taught her well, the way is narrow
Deep is the well, deeper than marrow
And on your birthday no one will sing
We set them up with their smokes and screens
We hung the trap, we set the bait
Just waiting now, just waiting now
We got him good, we made him think
He’s beautiful but only if he shrinks
It’s just a mirror but it’s the truth
Feels like a horrible, aching tooth
It all sounds like what my itching ears wanna hear
So distract me from what keeps my conscience clear
Dark Joy
Ever feel like your heart’s been hardened?
I think some wrongs just cant be pardoned
I keep carrying around this stone
That’s a rock you can’t un-throw
Every day I wake is a day you’ll never have
Though I am told my fate is gold
Used to make me glad
Can you feel it?
That sense of losing control?
And how it preys on every impulse
And makes every decision for you
How can I be certain if there is still a curtain between you and me?
I keep looking over my shoulder
Bet it gets worse as I get older
I keep carrying around this stone
That’s a rock you cant un-throw
Every day I waste is a day you’ll never have
I used to want to stay the same
Would that have made me glad?
When your eyes adjust to the dark
Do they see what’s really in the room?
And when you squint in the light
Is it hard to see what’s right in front of you?
In this World
There is an elm outside of my window
The last one with all of its leaves
And with a burning shade of yellow
It’s calling out to me
That I can do anything that I want
But not everything all at once
And it doesn’t keep me up
But it makes me wonder if it’s worth it to even try
You can hideaway but only for so long
I don’t wanna walk this dirty road
But I cannot sit back and watch you go alone
Every day is another distraction
When how you see is through rectangle eyes
That’s all you need to keep the trust sedated
Fear and love will make you easy to control
Cause we could do anything that we want
Just not everything all at once
And I think it keeps some up
Because we weigh the cost
It’s not worth it to even try
And I’m scared that I will bury this with time
We could never know true peace existing in this world
But I cannot go another day still lying to myself
Final Form
Just promise me we won’t stop talking
That all these roads will never stop crossing
That this ain’t another nail in the coffin
Oh my dearest friend I will think of you often
I wish I could purge those inner layers that I grew back then
I wish I could still recite those prayers like when we were children
I feel like everything I ever was all at once
I wonder what my final form is
I was underneath that spell for so long
I built up walls to keep everyone out
Clung to the past so that I could not escape
Wrote on my heart everything that I’m not
Yeah it’s nothing a walk cant fix
Can we speak just like when we were kids?
When we would wonder how the stars got their place
How we promised we’d find out one day
O death don’t linger
Your end is nearer
In time you will be
Replaced with glory
I feel like everything I ever was all at once
I want to know what my final form is
I Will Not Go
I got lost in a state park
Took a trail that wasn’t really there
Walked around til it got dark
All the world seemed to disappear
Wondered where I went wrong
What kind of man can’t follow a beaten path?
It didn’t take long
To start talking to myself like a psychopath
I was begging for a voice to whisper to me
I will not go
I will not leave your side
About six hours in
Four bottles of the river water in my gut
I thought I heard a car engine
Left every any sense of direction in the mud
Started screaming for help
There had to be somebody who could hear me
I was so scared
I couldn’t trust the things that I was hearing
Another hour and I’ll be dead
Or at least I was sure of it
18 miles from the trailhead
I spent that night in my own bed
See, you just gotta have patience
Fold your hands or fold your arms
I am not your good luck charm
In your head or in your heart
I am not your good luck charm
I will not show until you leave this world behind
Like the Sun
I’ve been letting my mind run wild
Imagination reflexes led me on for a while
Seems like I’m feeling around for something I’ve never held
My hands and knees on the ground reaching for what I’ve never felt
Salt of the earth, I was a farmer’s son
I used to see the best in everyone
I want to talk to you with confidence
Wake up again and not feel powerless
Sometimes I panic and it stops me dead in my tracks
It takes awhile before I’m calm and relaxed
I want the music to be louder than my conscience
I want the noises to be louder than my thoughts
I will find a way to the center of the circle of life